Где пропали поцелуи до крови: эксперты объясняют, почему «поцелуи до синяка» стали редкостью у взрослых

For many of us, hickeys were a teenage rite of passage. Fuelled by hormones and desire, a love bite used to be something to boast about at school. Dark purple, misshapen, and impossible to ignore, some were worn like a badge of honour, while others were concealed with a large dollop of Maybelline Matte Mousse. But somewhere along the way, I’ve noticed a distinct lack of love-bites around. It was only when a friend of mine commented that she’d seen someone with a hickey on the bus — and described it as ‘chic’ — that I realised it had been years since I’d spotted one in the wild. Ask Metro Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about – powered by Metro and trusted publications. And so, I began to wonder: where have all the hickeys gone? ‘When it comes to intimacy, adults sometimes feel the need to be serious, passionate, and intense, which can completely eliminate moments of playfulness and silliness,’ sexuality expert Courtney Boyer tells Metro. Sign up to The Hook-Up, Metro's sex and dating newsletter Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom? Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us! ‘We often forget that sex is meant to be fun and doesn’t have to be serious all the time.’ Courtney says that, in her experience, many people shy away from hickeys because they ‘associate them with teenage relationships or early sexual experiences.’ Search on TikTok and you’ll come across dozens of videos titled ‘How to get rid of a hickey quickly’ or ‘How to remove a hickey in five minutes’. Tips range from rubbing the mark with a hairbrush to pressing a frozen metal spoon against your skin. Denise, a 27-year-old Metro reader, can relate to the idea that hickeys are percieved as a little cringe. While she loves receiving them — fondly remembering the first time her boyfriend in college planted one on her — she understands the fear of it being perceived as ‘unserious’ or ‘silly’ if you’re over a certain age. She tells Metro: ‘I often find myself concealing my hickeys as a precaution around my friends and colleagues.’ This tends to be why, she adds, her preference is to receive love bites on the chest area and inner thighs. Sexpert Courtney also adds that people might avoid love bites, because they could be seen as an indicator that you’re ‘inexperienced’. But dater Chloe Bailey, 25, from Greenwich, has reframed this, instead arguing they’re a sign of the casual fun that dating can bring. After recently coming of a 10-year-long relationship, she’s just now dipping her toes back into the dating world. She shares: ‘I feel like hickeys used to be cool at high school to show how “active” you were. ‘But now, I see them as a perfect example of human connection, passionate and almost primal. ‘Of course, both parties need to be consenting, but I think we should all give it a go!’ Why do we find hickeys such a turn on? While fears of looking unprofessional or inexperienced may linger, the appetite for love bites hasn’t disappeared. Recent data from ethical porn site Lustery shows that search interest in ‘biting’ has increased by around 30% this year compared to last year. This specific category includes a range of related terms such as hickeys, love bites, nibbling, gentle biting, neck and lip biting.’ For Denise, the turn on is all about her lover staking their claim. ‘I love the idea of my partner “marking” me,’ she shares. It’s also a nice little souvenir. She adds: ‘And I love having a hickey as a reminder of our time together — every time I spot it in the mirror it gives me goosebumps. Do you prefer giving or receiving hickeys? - Giving - I like to be in control - Receiving - I want to watch my partner leave a mark ‘I also love the feeling during the moment itself — it adds to the passion and chemistry between us.’ Similarly, Filipa Castro, 28, from North London, has always found hickeys ‘hot’. And having been blessed with ‘a crazily sensitive neck’, receiving love bites is one of her favourite things. ‘I like it when it happens accidentally,’ she tells Metro. ‘When your partner gets so carried away in the moment that it leaves a mark.’ Much like Denise, Filipa can’t deny the pleasure of catching a glimpse of a lingering love bite days after it was planted. ‘Seeing a hickey in the mirror the day after makes me feel wanted and desired — I love how each glimpse gives me a sexy flashback.’ Understated intimacy There are plenty of signs to suggest that the art of intimacy involves a hell of a lot more than just sex. In fact, if the yearning in Wuthering Heights is anything to go off of, the most simple actions can sometimes spark the most intense physical attraction. For example, not too long ago, TikTok creator Tilly Ferrari called for ‘more snogging’ that doesn’t lead anywhere. Labelling it one of her official ‘ins’ for 2026, Tilly’s love for a make-out session is more than understandable. In fact, BACP psychotherapist and relationship coach, Susie Masterson, previously called kissing ‘an underrated art’, telling Metro it’s ‘something that [she] urges everyone to experiment with more.’ For dating influencer Allora Dannon, a ‘romantic hug’ (especially if it involves ‘nuzzling into someone’s neck’ or some ‘spicy grinding) is the perfect segue into something naughtier. Throw a hickey into the mix and you’ve got another reminder that building anticipation can be just as exciting as whatever comes next. Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing [email protected] MORE: I tried airplane sex – it was awkward and disgusting MORE: Nicole Kidman opens up on differences in Tom Cruise and Keith Urban relationships MORE: Will the vile ‘brown challenge’ pool pooing trend affect your holiday to Spain?