Люди, чувствующие себя «странными» в детстве, обычно помнят шесть конкретных ситуаций

People Who Felt Like The Weird Kid Growing Up Can Usually Remember 6 Specific Things Happening Being a kid can be awkward, and that means everyone, even the popular kids, probably felt like they were weird and didn't fit in at least once in a while. That feeling of being different from everyone else also came with some core memories that are hard to forget. If you were the weird kid growing up, you probably remember the specific events that made you feel different from everyone else. Some of these experiences happened to me and my friends in middle school, and let’s just say, boy, am I grateful not to be in school anymore. People who grew up feeling like the weird kid at school can usually remember specific experiences: 1. Being part of a trio ANNA GRANT | Shutterstock It happens to the best of us. We befriend somebody who pulls us into a trio. We don’t realize that the two of them have actually been best friends for years, and they’re hanging out with you as a courtesy. It happened to me, and it caused a whole lot of hurt feelings. It’s always awkward, because they’re never directly mean to you, but it shows up in little ways, like when they have a sleepover and don’t invite you, or one day they decide they want to eat lunch with just the two of them. When this happens, it can really hurt, especially when you don’t realize the signs until it’s too late. The best thing to do is to allow yourself to feel hurt, and then move on. 2. Getting asked out as a joke This one is unfortunately more common than it should be. Middle school boys think it’s the funniest joke in the world to ask out the not-so-popular girl as a joke. The truth is, though, it’s hurtful and damaging. It takes your vulnerability and uses it against you, teaching you to have trust issues as you get older. Don’t get me wrong, you should be careful when it comes to choosing who to open up to, but learning from a young age that your pure existence is a joke is super hurtful. 3. Being teased for talking in class Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock I remember this one vividly. I thought my mere presence was annoying in middle school, so I trained myself not to speak unless I knew what I was about to say was correct. What a great way to live, right? Now I don’t think this, and in fact, I never stop talking. But when you’re a kid, you constantly want to fit in. A study led by psychologists Kenneth H. Rubin, Robert J. Coplan, and Julie C. Bowker found that “socially withdrawn children are … at risk for a wide range of negative adjustment outcomes, including socio-emotional difficulties ... peer difficulties … and school difficulties.” Kids who are socially excluded grow up never quite feeling like they fit in, which can be harmful later on in life. 4. Hiding in bathroom stalls The dilemma of where to eat lunch was the biggest thing on my mind back in the day. Although I can’t say I ever ate lunch in the bathroom stall, I do remember walking the halls and being scared of certain people, so I would duck into the bathroom (in hindsight, why did I do that?). But I think a lot of people did this. A little scientific fact for you: the feeling of being left out feels the same as a physical injury. According to C. Nathan DeWall, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Kentucky, “Humans have a fundamental need to belong. Just as we have needs for food and water, we also have needs for positive and lasting relationships.” 5. People only pretending to be a friend for homework School is tough enough as it is, and sometimes we need a little extra help from our peers to help us get by. I personally believe that every once in a while it’s nice to give your friends the answers, but when people text you only when they need to cheat, it stings. Clearly, they are not your actual friend; they just want the homework answers. And there’s nothing worse than lying about it, or pretending to be friends in school, and then after school they only text you for the answers. Talk about feeling used, huh? 6. Realizing you weren't that weird StefanDahl via Canva Feeling like the weird kid hurts in the moment, but there will come a day when you realize you weren’t that weird after all. Maybe you were a bit quiet or more creative than the other kids, but you didn’t deserve the psychological damage that came with it. Adults who were bullied as kids carry the pain with them even when they know they didn't deserve the treatment they received. Psychologists recommend going to therapy to address the trauma and find ways to recover. You can forget without forgiving. The true gift is knowing that being weird is a blessing. Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and theatre who covers lifestyle topics.