Создательница знакомств раскрыла абсурдные требования мужчин к внешности и идеальные параметры женской фигуры

I’ve been a matchmaker for 26 years. This is what men ask for in a partner - including a VERY bitchy take on Botox, savage opinions on single mothers and the 'ideal' dress size in a woman... Nowadays, if you’re looking to meet that special someone then it’s accepted that dating apps are the first port of call. But the role of the professional matchmaker is far from dead. Singletons are feeling increasingly jaded about the superficiality of ‘swipe’ culture and want to get back to a more personal experience. I should know. I’ve spent the last 26 years bringing together those who want to find love. Yes, in many ways the job has changed since the arrival of the apps. We’re no longer simply introducing you to people you wouldn’t ordinarily meet, but hand-picking the right fit, from hobbies to aspirations. We’re also seeing those who have come out of a long relationship or been widowed, who need guidance because the dating scene has evolved so much. But some things never change. There’s still no better feeling than when two people find each other. I’ve helped make thousands of matches and have even been invited to some of the weddings. The majority of my clients are delightful but sadly some of the appalling behaviour – and outrageous requests – I’ve witnessed over the years show me that some people just aren’t deserving of Cupid’s arrow. People are far more demanding nowadays. Apps have gotten them into unhelpful habits. Don’t like what you see? Keep swiping until you do. It’s made people forget that it’s important to dig deeper. Lorraine Adams says a lot of men say they would only date someone a size 10 or below. As for women, most want their partner to be tall Our clients come from professional backgrounds and are aged from their late twenties right up to their 80s. They often specify their ideal height, hair and eye colour. A lot of men will also tell us they would only date someone a size 10 or below. As for women, most want their partner to be tall. Yet one of the key things women now look for is men with emotional intelligence. They want someone mature and on the same page as them, but who will respect their independence. While being too picky means our matches may miss out on meeting some amazing people, we try our best to accommodate preferences that are reasonable. Some, however, are totally unreasonable. One male client in his late 50s said he would only date women 20 years younger – but that he did not want more children. When we told him that women in this age bracket would think he was too old, plus most women in their 30s are looking for someone to start a family with, he asked for a refund. He didn’t get one. Then there was the 63-year-old male client who’d had a hair transplant and a facelift... yet complained about a woman who told him she had Botox. He said he only liked ‘natural’ women. In such cases, it’s a pleasure to point out the double standard. But it’s not just men who present problems. Singletons are feeling increasingly jaded about the superficiality of ‘swipe’ culture and want to get back to a more personal experience Following an evening with a man who was going bald, a client in her 70s stated she only wanted dates with full heads of hair. Given she wanted to meet someone in their 70s or 80s, we had to point out we’re matchmakers – not miracle workers. Then, after three further dates with different men, she demanded a full refund, because she wanted someone who shared her passion for gardening. It wasn’t that her latest date didn’t like gardening – he did! – but she said she only liked to grow fruit and vegetables, while he loved tending to his flowers. Again, no refund. We’ve also had many requests for matches with people who work in specific industries. A lady in her 50s tasked us with finding her a successful artist. A mere passion for painting would not suffice. We had to tell her that if she didn’t budge on this ‘must have’, she would narrow her chances of romantic success. In the end, we found her a (non-artist) chap who proved the perfect match. It goes to show that in reality, most of us end up falling for someone completely unexpected. I get it; expectations are high when you’ve spent money. Our memberships cost between £1,000 and £3,000 for six months, paid upfront. For that, we send three hand-picked matches per month. If an issue raised about a potential match is trivial, we encourage our clients to be open-minded. Some will come around with gentle feedback – but there are some where we’ve had to terminate their membership. Some men have been reported to us for being far too handsy on a first date. Some are misogynistic. They have no place on our books. While we’ve never needed to report someone to the police, we will let other matchmakers know to be on the look out if someone has been particularly unsavoury. I’m far from the only matchmaker with a few horror stories. Another once told me that she’d set a 30-something female client up on a second date. After the man failed to arrive at the restaurant, the client got a call from the police to say he’d been involved in a traffic accident and was in hospital. The police had called her as she was the last person he rang. The next day she phoned the matchmaker, outraged at the police intrusion. No wonder we often feel like screaming ‘don’t shoot the matchmaker!’ But in the name of true love, we’ll keep calm and carry on. Lorraine Adams is group CEO of Gorgeous Networks, which runs several dating agencies. As told to MaryLou Costa.