Студенты Harvard сравнили пеший переход в Род-Айленд с самыми затяжными задачами университета

Things that Take Longer than Walking to Rhode Island After walking to New Hampshire earlier this semester, I found myself in possession of one (dangerous?) piece of knowledge: Rhode Island, another neighboring state, is also only 32 miles away. So this past weekend, I laced up my sneakers, grabbed my good friend Zuzanna Kowalski ‘26, and we set out for the Ocean State. Spoiler alert: we did not see the ocean. We did, however, see 12 Dunkin' Donuts, 5 chickens, 2 horses, and 1 correctional prison facility. This walk was fueled by a simple desire to run it back. “Why would you walk to Rhode Island?” people kept asking me. “Especially after already doing New Hampshire?” Honestly? I just felt like walking. Though after a grueling finals period during which I didn’t leave the library for two weeks, I was desperate to touch some grass and see the sun. But, I would be lying if I said that this wasn’t mostly for the Strava kudos. Rhode Island’s official state motto is “Hope.” Short, sweet, and fitting for the nation’s smallest state. My friend Zuzanna and I embraced it wholeheartedly, hoping we’d make it to the border between Massachusetts-Rhode Island border and into the promised land of Strava glory. The 32.50 miles gave us a lot to ruminate on: suburban sprawl and the lack of sidewalks on the highway, Masshole truck drivers, and the fleeting passage of time — plus all the other things that we could have been doing during the nine hours we spent walking. So, continuing where we left off after New Hampshire, here’s part two of the series — a list of things that take longer than walking to Rhode Island. We would know. 1. Canvas restoring access Around 3:30 p.m. on Thursday, Canvas was taken down by a group of cybercriminal hackers. Students rejoiced at the prospect of having a final rescheduled or even canceled. Unfortunately, access was restored around 2 a.m. on Friday, roughly 10 hours and 30 minutes later. We finished Rhode Island in nine. Take that, cybercriminals. 2. Figuring out how to open your mailbox in the mailroom You got the code during move-in. You have not successfully opened your mailbox since. Every attempt involves at least three full rotations, telling yourself that you’ll get it on the next try, and a moment of self-doubt. How did you do this every day in middle school without thinking twice? Alas, your mail remains in purgatory. 3. Finding a job The recruiting cycle started in September. You’ve scrolled through Crimson Jobs. You’ve met with the MCS career advisors. It is now May. Please help me find a job. 4. Getting into Felipe’s Rooftop On Cinco de Mayo, the line stretched all the way to Joe’s. You got in line at 5 p.m., and it hasn’t budged since. Felipe’s closes at 1 a.m. The math is not mathing. Walking to Rhode Island would have been much faster, and at least you’d have something for your valiant effort. 5. Walk to the SEC It’s technically not that far. And yet, by the time you’ve crossed Weeks Bridge, questioned your life choices to take 9:45 a.m. classes at the SEC, and finally pushed open those doors, you’re basically halfway to Rhode Island. 6. Annenberg lunch line Apparently, you’ll get in at some point. Finding a seat, though? That’s a different story. 7. Okta Verify You opened your laptop, hoping to log onto Canvas. You’re met with Harvard Key. You clicked “Send Push Notification.” Your phone buzzed. You looked away for one second to finish scrolling through a senior sale. The push expired. You clicked “Send Push” again. It expired again. You tried sending a code instead. You are still not logged in. 8. Packing Move-out is in less than a week. You have not started. You have, however, reorganized your desk, rediscovered clothes you forgot you owned, and somehow accumulated more clothes from senior sales. All the boxes around you are still empty. This is fine — it’s a problem for when your parents arrive.