Администраторы школ призывают родителей вести себя достойно на трибунах во время школьных матчей

THING THREE Some of the most difficult situations school administrators face begin in the bleachers, when fans allow anger to take over. Words and actions spoken in the heat of the moment are often regretted later, but by then the harm has already been done. Negativity from the stands has no place in school athletics. It does not help the players, support the coaches, or improve the experience for the students competing on the field or court. Officiating is more than likely going to be below average at the sub-varsity level, but then again, so is the play. Most officials are just learning what to do, and negativity from the bleachers only hampers development and creates a hostile environment for both players and officials. In my many years of playing, coaching, and administrating, I have never seen an official blow a game. I have, however, seen officials blow calls; but an entire game, NO! You can ask any coach, and they will tell you that an official NEVER lost a game for them. Coaches are paid professionals and are trained to handle officials in a professional manner. That is the only acceptable way if we are truly trying to teach young men and women how to manage conflict and controversy in a positive way. Officials make very little money for their services and most of them do it because they love athletics and enjoy being around kids. Many of them are accountants, insurance salespeople, electricians, preachers, struggling college students, and most importantly, they are all human. Have you ever officiated a basketball game? Have you ever called balls and strikes from behind a plate? I can assure you it is not easy, so either keep your mouth shut or grab a whistle. Screaming at rookie basketball officials or an umpire from the bleachers is not going to make them better, it will only make them quit. A serious shortage of qualified officials exists across all sports – at all levels -for one simple reason: Officials grow tired of the criticism and hatred spewed at them game after game, night after night. Most are trying to do the best they can, and constant negativity only makes it harder for them to care. Officials are going to make mistakes and that will never change no matter how loud you yell. Some calls will go your way, some will not, but I promise you there is no conspiracy. Officials want to make the right call just as bad as you want them to. The only thing that should be shouted from the bleachers is encouragement, nothing more is necessary. DON’T FROM KIDS TO PARENTS 1. Don’t yell out instructions at me. During the game, I am trying to concentrate on what the coach says and working on what I have been practicing. It is easier for me to do my best if you save instructions and reminders for another time. 2. Don’t put down the officials. This embarrasses me and I sometimes wonder whether the official is going to be tougher on me because my parents yell. 3. Don’t yell at me in public. It will just make things worse because I will be upset, embarrassed, or worried that you are going to yell at me the next time I do something “wrong.” 4. Don’t yell at the coach. When you yell at the coach, it puts pressure on me because I know you are angry. I believe my coach really does care about me and wants the best for me. 5. Don’t put down my teammates. Don’t make put-down remarks about any of my teammates who make mistakes. It takes away from our team spirit, plus I make mistakes too, and you wouldn’t want other parents yelling at me. 6. Don’t put down the other team. When you do this, you are not giving us a very good example of sportsmanship, so we get mixed messages about being “good sports.” 7. Don’t lose your cool. I love to see you excited about the game, but there is no reason to get so upset that you lose your temper! It is our game, and all the attention is supposed to be on us. And, never come onto the field unless a coach asks you to. 8. Don’t lecture me about mistakes after the game. Those rides home in the car after the game are not a suitable time for lectures about how I messed up – I already feel bad. We can talk later, but please stay calm, and do not forget to mention things I did well during the game! 9. Don’t forget how to laugh and have fun. Sometimes it is hard for me to relax and have fun during the game when I look over and see you so tense and worried. 10. Don’t forget that it’s just a game! Odds are I am not going to make a career out of playing sports. I know I may get upset if we lose, but I also know that I am usually feeling better after we go get a coke. I need to be reminded sometimes that it is just a game. You may not realize this, but a school can prevent you from attending any athletic contest for as long as they wish if you demonstrate poor behavior….and they should. As an Athletic Director, I did not hesitate to suspend a parent from attending games for their behavior. Someone had to do it; I was willing because I was right and they were wrong. Permitting bad behavior is promoting bad behavior, and school administrators would not be doing their job if they ignored it. Screaming at the umps is not part of the game. There is nothing wrong with cheering loudly and making noise, the problem occurs when it becomes personal toward a coach, player, or game official. Get loud, do not get personal. In all my years in dealing with parent behavior as an Athletic Director, I have never had a parent sit in my office and say any of the following; “I’m glad I got ejected from the gym and had to be escorted out by the police in front of everyone – I’m glad I embarrassed my child – I’m glad I cannot attend any more games this year because I acted like a fool – I’m glad I have tarnished my reputation – I’m glad I made it all about me and not the kids playing the game.” Let the coach handle the officials. They have received training on how to interact with game officials. Don’t yell at your kid; don’t yell at someone else’s kid; don’t yell at your coach; don’t yell at the other team’s coach; don’t yell at the officials; don’t yell at each other; don’t forget, it is just a game. This article does not directly address the larger issue of parent behavior in youth sports. That topic deserves its own article—one I might title Grow Up. After all, what honor is there in being removed from a Little League game for screaming at an umpire? Yelling at officials is not about kids, it’s about an angry adult acting like a kid … end of story. Next Week, THING FOUR: Trust coaches to do the right thing. *** Todd Howey is a columnist for BrownwoodNews.com whose ‘Five Things Coaches Want Parents to Know’ articles appear on Mondays. Email comments to [email protected].