Юристы рассказали о самых глупых решениях клиентов, которые стоили им свободы

ADVERTISEMENT Going to court can be intimidating. Whether you’re guilty of a crime or not, you have to be careful about what you say. And it’s best to be extremely prepared, so you don’t flounder on the stand. A great lawyer can do most of the heavy lifting, but they can’t necessarily win a case for an idiotic client.  Attorneys on Reddit have been recalling the absolute stupidest decisions their clients have ever made, so we’ve compiled a list of their stories below. From flat-out admitting to crimes to sharing incriminating posts on social media, there are clearly no limits to what terrible decisions clients can make. Enjoy reading through these embarrassing fails, and be sure to upvote the ones that you find most amusing. This post may include affiliate links. #1 My all time favorite is a client I had who was charged with Driving Under the Influence (DUI), who wanted to challenge the charges on the grounds he didn't think he was drunk and the tests was administered improperly...who appeared at his court hearings rip-roarin' drunk...twice...and then, both times, he got into his car and tried to drive away...and BOTH TIMES, the police promptly stopped him, administered a breathalyzer and charged him with DUI and related offenses. We didn't win that case. CoJoetheLawyer, Ahmet Kurt Report #2 Told a client "don't say anything to the police, wait until I get there." Confesses to a crime he wasn't being investigated for. anon, Ahmet Kurt Report ADVERTISEMENT #3 I am not a lawyer but this worked out super well for me. I was hit by this 65 year old drunk lady (who also happened to be on Methodone at the time...). The cops knew her husband who was a firefighter, and so they didnt breathalize or do any tests, and didnt charge her with DUI. My EMTs had said "that lady is so drunk, shes going to buy you a ticket to Disney world," which is how I knew that she was drunk at the time of the accident, but I had no proof to bring to the table in the lawsuit because if the cops didnt charge or make notes then you cannot add it later. So we get to MY deposition and she shows up. She argues with me the entire time over my points and her lawyer keeps having to tell her that she needs to be quiet. (mind you, this lady had ruined my friends and my lives. So I was becoming less than patient with her calling me a liar when she got off scot free.) She exclaims to my lawyer "Even the police report is wrong!" "What do you mean its wrong?" "It has me coming from the wrong place!" "Where were you coming from?" "My friends Bar!" "...Really...Did you have any drinks at this bar?" "Well yeah..." "How many?" "I dont know, they dont charge me they just keep refilling my class..." Cue her lawyers face palm as this is all on tape. **TLDR**: Lady exclaims that she was drinking and driving when she could have gotten off scot free. cagetheblackbird, Negley Stockman Report ADVERTISEMENT You might be an extremely likable and unproblematic person, but that doesn't mean that you’re ready to be on trial. If you have an excellent lawyer, they’ll do everything in their power to make sure you look great on the stand and in the eyes of the court. But whoever you’re going up against will probably have a pretty great lawyer too. And they’ll do everything in their power to make you look terrible. So it’s absolutely crucial for clients to enter a courtroom prepared, composed, and careful. ADVERTISEMENT According to King Law Offices, there are some important dos and don’ts for clients to know before entering a courtroom. First, they note that you must dress appropriately, arrive early, follow courtroom etiquette, listen to your attorney, and present yourself positively. #4 My dad is an attorney, and these stories are somewhat relevant.... Backstory: Father's office is robbed and the guy took a bunch of our ID's, passports, social security cards, ect that we kept at my dad's office. A few years/months later (not sure of the timeline) my dad is in court for another case/meeting. Guy enters the courthouse, going through security for a hearing for some unrelated charges. My dad gets called from his meeting and the security guys were laughing, "hey get a load of this Mr. Spretty21's dad, this guy says he's YOU!" I believe he was then charged with robbing my dad's office. Another story. My dad is in a meeting with some guys who were unaware that my dad fluently speaks their native language. They were telling him one story in English, then would switch to their native language to confer about covering up the truth. My dad let them go on like this for a while before finally cutting in, in their language, and asking them about the real story. They were extermely dumbfounded and busted. This will probably stay buried, but hey, it's out there:). ADVERTISEMENT #5 Story from a friend of mine - he was defending a guy in court, don't remember what he was charged with. The main witness for prosecution was on the stand, and was asked if she could identify the defendent. She was scanning the courtroom & seemed confused - my friend was already silently celebrating because if she couldn't identify him, he could probably get all charged dropped. As he was mentally adding this case to the 'win' file, he happened to glance over at his client, who had just helpfully raised his hand to make it easier for her to identify him. Even the judge facepalmed on that one. Jeffbx, Ray Kim Report ADVERTISEMENT #6 "She has a restraining order on you. You absolutely cannot contact her any more." They moved in together. dart22, Curated Lifestyle Report ADVERTISEMENT As far as what clients must avoid doing in a courtroom, King Law Offices warns against speaking without permission, showing disrespect, discussing your case outside of the courtroom, ignoring court orders or instructions, and displaying impatience or frustration. We all know that it’s not exactly fun to have to go to court, whether you’re accused of a crime or not. But it will be even less pleasant if you don’t play the game correctly. The vast majority of the time, your lawyer knows best. So just follow their advice, and you should be able to avoid ending up on a list like this.  #7 I represent clients before the IRS. Had a couple who owed around $250,000 in back taxes. We had no defense, so the only thing to do was have the clients meet with the IRS and plead for leniency. Well, the wife got arrogant with the IRS agent, and at one point stood up and screamed at the IRS agent (who was a pretty decent person, making a very middle class wage) "you'll take away my Mercedes over my corpse!" Then she stormed out of the conference room. Needless to say, she lost the Mercedes. riverrat36605, Inga Seliverstova Report ADVERTISEMENT #8 My dad was a lawyer in the navy. One of his first big cases was defending a guy accused of falling asleep at his post during Vietnam. My dad was all psyched, delivering what he thought was well prepared defense to the judge. The judge interrupted him, telling him to turn around and wake up his client. anon, Esra Afşar Report ADVERTISEMENT #9 My sister is a public defender. She recently had a shoplifting case where the defendant was caught in possession of stolen goods which happened to match a list (also in his possession) entitled "Things to steal from Walmart". ephantmon, KDavid Montero Report Are you enjoying these amusing and facepalm-worthy stories about lawyers’ clients, pandas? Keep upvoting the ones that leave your jaw on the floor, and let us know in the comments below if you’ve ever witnessed anything similar in real life. Then, if you’d like to read another article from Bored Panda featuring stories from lawyers about difficult clients, look no further than right here!  ADVERTISEMENT #10 Probably will get buried. But it happened to my dad, where he was at the court house to meet with the judge and when going through security he had his wallet stolen. Well, this genius of a fellow who took his wallet was already being tried in court that day on, you guessed it, charges of theft. Yes, this brilliant man stole from the security line at a court house in direct view of cameras. People are great. rawrandrauk, Curated Lifestyle Report #11 Not my client, but I saw this. Accused bank robber at a bail hearing was told by the judge his bond was set at $100,000 and explained to him that meant he could post $10,000 in cash to be released pending trial. He asked the accused if he had $10,000 for bail. The accused replied "Judge, if I had $10,000 I wouldn't have been robbing the bank." The US attorney asked for a copy of the transcript, easiest conviction ever. JME_123, Jason Dent Report ADVERTISEMENT ADVERTISEMENT #12 My lawyer brother once got a "contempt of court" charge dismissed against his client by begging for mercy, using a Forrest Gump-like defense "Mah client is not a smart man....". Immediately after the charge was dismissed, the client turned and in front of the entire court punched my brother in the mouth, yelling "Who are you callin' DUMB?!" Client was promptly re-arrested. MastadonBob, Saúl Bucio Report #13 1. Guy robs bank, flees scene. His clever getaway plan is to jump into the nearest taxi. Yells at the driver "I just robbed that bank, now drive!". Driver turns around. Is cop. In haste robber has mistaken Police car for taxi (in my country taxis are white, so it is feasible but EXTREMELY dumb). 2. Guy is being questioned at scene of recent burglary, as suspect. When asked for occupation he says "Burglar". bezufache, Waldemar Brandt Report ADVERTISEMENT #14 Not my client, but I was on the prosecutor's side when a defendant failed to appear for court. His attorney can't reach him, nobody know where he is, so we all sit there for about half an hour, until the judge gets sick of it and moves on with the docket. We found out later that day that the defendant decided to rob a 7/11 the night before and was sitting in jail two counties over when he should've been in court. AngryPurpleTeddyBear, Johnny Ho Report ADVERTISEMENT #15 My high school best friend's father is a lawyer, and I remember him telling me this story years ago. He gets a client who was being charged with a DUI. He asks the client what happened and the client states that he had two drinks, gets stopped, and the police wrongly charged him with driving under the influence. My friend's dad then looked over the evidence as any good lawyer would do. Come to find out, there was video evidence from a dash cam! Awesome! His client on video was visibly drunk, and he described it as being you'd be stupid to think he was sober. He was convinced there wasn't much he could do with this. There's icing on the cake though. When the police officer went to give him the breathalyzer his client is heard stating, "I'm too drunk to use this thing". anon, Age Cymru Report ADVERTISEMENT Never miss a story that brings joy to the world. Add us on Google #16 The case had gone on for years. Client was badly injured in a car accident and was about to win millions. Then she posted a Facebook status about her doing something very active and thus negating the entire case. Had to settle for $100,000. Years of work down the drain in one Facebook status. garishbourne, Anton Be Report #17 Client was an accountant for a good size company. During the recession she was laid off and filed for unemployment where claimed she made 200k+ salary. Real salary was 60k. The company received the unemployment claim, investigated, and found out she embezzled millions. vctunnel, Karolina Grabowska Report ADVERTISEMENT #18 Not a lawyer here - still in law school, but assisting lawyers with cases. One day, we got involved in a care taking debate for an old woman. Her daughter and an attorney were declared legal guardians for her, due to dementia and her high age. Her niece got us involved questioning the motives of the daughter as an assigned legal guardian. Long story short: Her motives were definitely questionable, she stole ten thousands of dollars and even her mom's vaccuum cleaner and silver cutlery (which resulted in the poor woman eating with her fingers) and the case seemed to be a piece of cake for us. Then the niece, our client, took the old lady away to a senior citizen home to guarantee she was taken care well of. Her intentions were gold - unfortunately, daughter & attorney were still legal guardians and had the right to determine the place of residence. In the end, our client was charged with kidnapping and we lost the case. Moral of the story: don't ever do anything case related before talking to your lawyer. Seriously. Don't. StillNotSnowflake, Getty Images Report ADVERTISEMENT #19 Fortunately I was not the attorney in question, but: Guy is convicted of some traffic-related offense, loses his driver's licence (effective immediately), gets in the car and drives home. Along with his lawyer. #20 My law teacher would tell stories about a juvenile court he used to work in in one of the more questionable areas of California. Apparently they had a real problem with defendants coming in with sagging pants and court officials showing up in beach clothes. The judge finally got so fed up with it that he kept a box of rope (for an impromptu belt) and a box of neckties behind his desk, and he'd begin court proceedings by lobbing ample amounts of both over his stand at anyone he felt was in need of them. anon, spoopy_elliot Report ADVERTISEMENT ADVERTISEMENT #21 On a site inspection with opposing counsel's experts: Expert: "Can we please see the bolts that failed, causing the plaintiff's demise?" Client: "No, those are broken. They were made out of cheap metal. That's why they failed!" I almost slapped my client. Frankly, I'm sad I didn't. _Vici_, Siavash Ghanbari Report #22 My client tried to pay a fine with counterfeit money. mikeyloo, Sasun Bughdaryan Report #23 During a divorce, the ex-husband claimed that he didn't make much or any money and wasn't able to pay the child support we were asking him to pay. A few hours after receiving this information he posts a picture on his public Facebook of a wad of cash talking about how 'Ballin' he was. Needless to say his claim didn't hold up after that. dawsonscreekrox, Aejaz Memon Report ADVERTISEMENT #24 I used to represent patients who were involuntarily committed because of a mental illness. So I wouldn't describe them as dumb, but still... Clerk: "Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" Client: "No" This happened a dozen different times. JackEsq, Ivan Lapyrin Report ADVERTISEMENT #25 Gonna get buried, So a little while ago I was doing a traffic hearing for another lawyer at my firms client (I don't do a whole lot of traffic hearings, but when it comes up I'll do them). So we get there and the cop doesn't show up. He was charged with careless driving (rear-ending another car) and was adamant that he didn't do it (3 car accident he said the car that hit him pushed him into the car in front of him). I'm like "score easy win". I look at him and say "you don't say anything got it?", he agrees So we do the hearing, the witnesses testify, but because there is no cop nobody can put my client at the scene or behind the wheel. So the judge goes "Well in light of all the evidence I'm going to have to find Mr. (name)..." and then my client goes "Your honor I have some pictures I took at the scene"... I just give him a stare. The judge says "Sir, do you pay your attorney for a reason?" He says "yes", "Did your attorney tell you to talk", he says "no", "well until you opened your mouth nobody could put you at the scene and I was going to dismiss the ticket, but now you did that yourself" Dude literally talked himself into a ticket. citizenkane86 Report ADVERTISEMENT #26 "The judge ordered you not to touch anything in the storage unit where your husband's stuff is. So don't even go there." *Breaks into the storage unit and pours bleach over everything*. anon, Kelly Sikkema Report #27 I'm not comfortable that it's appropriate to tell stories about my own clients. So: I prosecuted a bank robber. I think he pled guilty mostly to avoid having my show bank surveillance cam photos to the jury. See, he robbed a bank while wearing sagged pants. When the tried to leap over the half-door that separated the teller area from the customer area the pants came off and tripped him and he fell on his face. The cameras captured, in exquisite detail, the change in his facial expression from bravado to concern to terror as his pants came off. KenPopehat Report ADVERTISEMENT ADVERTISEMENT #28 A friend if mine is seeking child support from her ex husband. He keeps claiming to have no money. Every week he spends money on Microsoft points. How does she know? When they set up his xbox live account, they used her email. She gets every single confirmation of pay email. Every week. I'm excited for the next court date, to say the least. il_vekkio Report #29 I'm not a lawyer, but the optometrist that I went to had an officer manager that was marking on people's accounts that they got refund checks and crediting the balance, then cashing them herself. She took $50, 000 in a year and got caught. When asked why she did it, she said "no one told me I couldn't.". ADVERTISEMENT #30 I worked for the Public Defenders office and met a client in jail for a line-up that he had adamantly demanded regarding a crime with multiple witnesses. I met the client for the first time in a separate room to let him know how it would go down and what to expect. This is the kind of line-up you traditionally see on television where there are a number of similar looking people standing shoulder to shoulder in front of mirrored glass. They pull the people for the line-up from the jail population and despite their best efforts this is not a huge population. I walk in to meet the client and he has a stye on his left lower eyelid the size of a golf ball. It was the most identifiable mark on a human's face i have ever seen. He still demanded the line-up and was identified instantly by every single witness without a shred of doubt in their mind. He still demanded a trial and the stye was gone by the time the trial commenced. Tl;dr: Guy with golf ball sized lump on face demands comparative line-up. BR0WND0G, throwaway7383942 Report ADVERTISEMENT ADVERTISEMENT #31 A client in a PI case claiming damage to their lower back posted pictures of themselves to their Facebook page riding Jetskis and horses. The defense subpoena'ed the client's Facebook page. Pisshands Report #32 Wasn't my client but I saw this happen: Defendant moves to remove his public defender, apparently listening to advice from a cellmate. Def: "Your Honor, I would like to represent myself." Judge: "Very well, will you be changing your plea?" Def: "Yes, I would like to plead not guilty by reason of insanity." Judge: "Do you have a mental disorder?" Def: "No." After a brief chat with his former attorney, defendant reinstated the public defender as his counsel. My guess is defendant listened to counsel when he said that pleading not guilty by reason of insanity means admitting you did indeed perform the acts of which you were accused. shocolatemilk Report ADVERTISEMENT #33 Accidentally admitted to the crime in his *direct* examination. *Facepalm*. etan_causale, Drazen Zigic Report ADVERTISEMENT #34 "I got your domestic violence charges dismissed" - goes home after hearing and beats up wife. legaleagal, Curated Lifestyle Report #35 NYC criminal defense attorney here. All inmate phone calls at the city jail (Rikers Island) are recorded. I remind my clients on a regular basis that somebody is listening to all their calls, and that they should never discuss the case or call anyone related to the case from jail. I had a client who was charged with stalking and harassing an ex girlfriend. The thing about these charges was that this was the first and last time I had seen a legitimate case of double jeopardy (defendant being charged with the same crime twice). The defendant had already pled guilty and done a small amount of jail time for the same incidents. I walked into court on our first appearance supremely confident that my client would be walking out of court a free man. To my surprise there was a second indictment charging new crimes. My genius client had called his ex-girlfriend and the DA had recordings of him threatening to beat her if she came to court to testify against him. We took a plea right there and he served 3 years for witness tampering and contempt. If my client had only listened to my advice and let me do my job he would have gone home three years earlier than he did. Impudent Report ADVERTISEMENT #36 Ram the arresting officers car after misdemeanor court. Turned a fine and court costs into a 15 year sentence. orsodrwilybelieved Report ADVERTISEMENT #37 Cashed in their retirement while in bankruptcy. When it is cash, it is not protected. Legalbegallove, Mufid Majnun Report #38 So I'm a law student, but I work at a volunteer desk that helps people complete the forms for court. The awful part is I can't give any legal advice since I'm not a lawyer, which means I can't tell these people they don't have a case. However, the stories are great. There the lady who sues celebrities. S